Dear Brothers and Sisters,

 

I want to share some more things related to funerals in our parish. First, we are moving towards limiting

having visitation in the worship area of our churches. This would include both wake services and visitation

prior to the funeral itself. Those activities will be allowed to take place on church grounds, just not in the

worship space where Mass is celebrated. So if there is a desire for a wake or visitation, the priority is that

it take place in the hall, the narthex, or the church basement. The worship space should be reserved as a place of worship and prayer. We have seen that when visitation is in the worship space, it becomes very loud and often chaotic, and it becomes very difficult for those who want to pray for the deceased to actually pray. It also makes the transition from visitation to funeral very difficult. It is nearly impossible to get people to stop visiting with each other so we can do a moment of silence with the family before the closing of the casket or the beginning of the liturgy. Separating the space for the two different actions of visitation and funeral rite helps make the distinction between the two more evident for people, and enables them to shift their own posture and perspective so they can more readily enter into the service.

​​

The hall or parish center is the more proper location for visiting and the social interaction. It also makes available food and refreshments for family, that otherwise would not be permitted in the worship space. Technically, it should be noted that visitation the morning before the funeral can also be done at the funeral home or at a private residence. This used to be much more common and I have done many funerals where we traveled from the funeral home to the church and on arrival brought in the casket or urn and immediately begun the opening rites for the funeral Mass.

​​

We have already been moving away from visitations in the worship space in our ACC, and for many people this is nothing new. But now we are more formally creating policy for the parish, and I think it is good to use this opportunity to inform and instruct the people on policy and why that policy exists. It can also help manage expectations and consider other options that may not be as familiar.

​​

I also want to use this space to make another note for everyone. Though we do not currently have a formal policy in place specifying details on when the actual burial will be following the funeral, I have noticed an increase in excessive delays of burial that is concerning and may necessitate a policy change in the future if abuses continue. In the Catholic Church the full funeral rites include the Vigil (the gathering before the funeral), the Funeral itself (Mass or service), and the Committal (the service at the cemetery). Though these things do not have to be done within a day or two, and there can be good reason to delay a burial (such as waiting a few months until the snow melts), it is preferred that they flow one into the other as much as possible. Remember that burying the dead is a Corporal Work of Mercy for the deceased, and delaying or denying that burial for them would be like delaying or denying giving drink to one who is thirsty, or denying food to one who is hungry. If someone were to ask for a funeral service for a loved one of theirs but not have any plans to bury them after the funeral, or have no good reason for excessively delaying the burial, I would be within rights to say that we will then delay doing the funeral until the family is ready to bury their loved one. This is not meant to be harsh, and I have found good discussion with most families on what works for them, but we need to be cautious about the growing trend to separate the burial from the funeral. Let us be a place of mercy for the deceased, treating them with the Christian and human dignity they deserve, observing the fullness of the funeral rites, and continuing to pray for all our departed loved ones. May they truly rest in peace. Amen.

​​

Peace in Christ,

Fr. Timothy